Grief Cruises: Support and Healing at Sea

From Moroccan surf retreats to West African drumming, grief retreats and grief travel opportunities are growing in popularity. It’s not surprising given an evolving openness in discussing grief and death, and the exposure to grief-related topics online. For example, on TikTok, the hashtag #grief has been used over a billion times, and #grieftok has garnered more than 40 million views. Several popular content creators share their journeys, both emotional and physical. On Instagram, the hashtag #griefjourney is posted once every half hour, according to estimates.

One grief travel program that’s growing in popularity is the Grief Cruise, a trip that brings together a community of grievers on a Caribbean cruise and provides information sessions, support groups, and rituals aboard the cruise ship.

Finding Rainbows After Loss

After the death of two of her children, grief cruise passenger Mary Feigh saw a social media post about the trips. She didn’t know what to expect and hadn’t taken a vacation in years. “I felt like I shouldn’t be having fun,” Feigh explained. But what she found was healing and community. She’s been on four cruises so far and is planning on a fifth next year.

Feigh lost her son, 13-year-old Corey, in a tragic pedestrian accident in 1988, and her daughter, Missy, to suicide in 2011. She says the trips have been a way of honoring their memory. She says her daughter, who loved the song “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” sends her signs on each trip. “Every grief cruise I’ve been on, I’ve seen at least one rainbow, and I know it is her sending me a sign like, ‘This is going to be a good trip, Mom.’” 

‘You Cry Together, You Laugh Together’

But while old friends may disappear, Feigh says that the Grief Cruise brings her together with people who understand what she’s been through. "You cry together, laugh together, you eat your meals together. When you leave, you become best friends with these people that you’ve only known for a few days. It’s just an amazing experience,” she said.

The founder of The Grief Cruise, Linda Findlay, lost her daughter, Aubrie Marie, in 1989, and this loss has given her insight into the experiences of the hundreds of families she has helped in her career, which that loss sparked. “I believe that the work that I do is my daughter’s legacy,” Findlay explained. “Grief never ends. Does it immobilize me? No, but it’s there. I’ll never see her again.” While her daughter lived just a few hours, the death changed the course of her career.

Inspired by her experience, Findlay worked in hospice and as a resource to funeral home families after her daughter’s death. But before that, she’d been a travel agent, and she realized there was an opportunity to combine her talents to start the business. She sees the trips as a way of connecting to lost loved ones, not “getting over” grief.

Staying Connected, Not ‘Getting Over’ Grief

Findlay explained, “The whole world indicates to us that we should be getting over our loss and that we should be moving on. When people are grieving, that’s the last thing they ever want to hear. We need to help them find ways to stay connected to their loved ones, even if it’s wearing their favorite color or cooking their favorite meal.” Findlay says that by participating in rituals, art classes, and seminars on board, families find healing and connection on the cruise.

Feigh agrees. People rarely can talk about those that you have lost, she says. While friends and family are there to support you in the beginning, they often fade away as the years go by, and they want you to “get over it” and “move on.” “You might move forward, but you never ‘get over it,’” she said.

Activities on a Grief Cruise

On a grief cruise, families can attend workshops by grief experts, can fill a memory wall with pictures of their loved one, participate in a memory walk, and can even launch a biodegradable urn in a special ceremony for their loved one coordinated with the captain and crew of the ship.

Passengers can also opt to take in other opportunities on and off the boat offered by the cruise company.

Findlay says many people feel guilty about wanting to take a vacation after the death of a loved one. But there’s a growing acceptance of “grief travel,” especially as people share their positive experiences on social media. Some who have taken a grief cruise in the past return and make friends with those they’ve met, and the connections continue after the journey ends.

The Growing Popularity of Grief Travel

Findlay agrees that the phenomenon of grief travel is on the rise because of its exposure in social media. “It has a place now. Ten years ago, you would never have heard about grief travel … So people are being exposed to it, and see what it is, and they think, ‘I’m going to try it, too.’”

She says concern about dishonoring a loved one has long been a barrier to travel for people following a death. But with these grief-themed vacations, they can acknowledge their loved one while giving themselves a needed break and companionship. Those who have served as caregivers may be especially in need of a respite.

Grieving in a ‘Safe Space’

Findlay says providing a safe space on the Grief Cruise is her mission, and she’s rewarded by seeing the results, “As long as I can give them that support, that space, that time, always knowing that I can’t take it away. I know I can’t take somebody’s grief away, I cannot change it, I cannot make it different.”

Findlay says the transformation of her passengers can be seen by the end of the trip. “They leave at the end of the week, their faces have changed, their demeanor has changed, their hope has increased. It’s just amazing. When you have that space where people can grow through their grief and learn what might help them to cope a little bit better when the rest of the world doesn’t know what to do,” Findlay explained.

“I don’t have to explain to anybody why I’m there, why I’m happy, why I’m sad. It’s a time when you can concentrate on your loved ones and not have to worry about anything else, and it is just amazing,” Feigh said.

More Travel Information and Resources

Learn more about grief discounts for flights, planning a destination funeral, and what happens when you die abroad.