What's an Ethical Will and How to Create One

Ethical Will Guide

We’ve all heard of a Last Will and Testament, a document that is the keystone of estate plans that lays out how material belongings will be passed down.

However, if you are interested in sharing your thoughts, values, and history with others, an ethical will may be a suitable option for you.

The History of the Ethical Will

An ethical will is a voluntary, non-legally binding document that usually contains a set of stories, notes, and last words to your family and friends. Adapted from Jewish tradition, this document can be as formal or informal as you wish. The defining feature of an ethical will is the intent rather than the content. An ethical will should be written to inspire your family and friends, as well as share with them values and hopes you believe they should uphold following your passing. It has been called a “love letter from beyond.”

Traditionally, these end-of-life documents (also known as tzava’ot in Hebrew) are intended for parents to pass on wisdom and inspire their children and the next generation. Some of the information contained within the ethical will could be burial instructions, debts to be paid, or blessings. However, these traditions have changed and shifted over the years, and it should be noted there is no halachic (Jewish law) template individuals must follow when drafting an ethical will; Additionally, these documents have been growing in popularity in secular circles as well, and anyone can write an ethical will, regardless of religious affiliation.

In modern, secular usage, ethical wills are typically places for reflection, allowing an individual to retell and document the story of their life. It’s a place for the passing of traditions and values, as well as blessings for the future generation. Writing an ethical will is also known to be an emotionally and spiritually healing exercise for many people, and can help decrease a person’s death anxiety.

Who Needs or Wants an Ethical Will?

Do you need to write an ethical will? No. Ethical wills are completely voluntary and are not legally binding. Even so, many people still feel compelled to write one. Historically, ethical wills were mostly written privately and shared amongst family members, although a person might include an apprentice, student, or other close individuals in viewing their will. The wish to maintain a living memory and reach a level of symbolic immortality is compelling, and an ethical will is a simple way to make sure your wishes and stories are documented.

In addition, there could be several practical reasons to draft an ethical will. The will can be as simple as a document outlining the distribution of (financially) non-valuable family artifacts that may have significant meaning to you. Or, it could be used as a therapeutic exercise to look into the face of mortality and face a level of death anxiety. For some, drafting an ethical will could be an obligatory aspect of their spirituality and religion, or a family tradition. 

Writing an ethical will could begin as a daunting task, but there are steps you can take to help you start the process:

How to Write Your Ethical Will

When to Start an Ethical Will

You can start drafting your ethical will at any point in your life. While most people begin to write their ethical will as they grow older, there is no perfect age at which you should begin. Younger writers might begin making notes for the will during periods of reflection and add to it as time passes, drafting the complete will over the years.

What Format Should You Use for an Ethical Will?

The format of the document completely depends on you. Feel free to be creative; This is something for you and your family, and the format of it should reflect your own personality. While they are traditionally written as a letter, technology has opened other options, including:

• A formal letter
• A viideo message
• An audio recording
• A scrapbook of messages
• A list of final wishes,
• A poem
• A chest of individual letters and notes

The ethical will can also be an addition to other family heirlooms like clothes, journals, photos, and trinkets.

Resources to Get Started

Rereading journal or diary entries, talking to family members, or looking through photos could help jog memories. Think about categorizing your writing as well. Some recommended sections could be: stories and memories; apologies, debts, and final words; values and traditions; and hopes for the future. The writing can be as simple or intricate as you prefer.

Additional Help for Writing an Ethical Will

There are many resources to help you online, including these articles from Next Avenue, AARP, and Stanford University’s School of Medicine. Some private organizations focus on assisting people in creating an ethical will. Additionally, hospices and other end-of-life organizations usually have resources to help you with planning your ethical will in their programming.

Planning Made Easy with Tulip

Planning for death is not an easy task. At Tulip Cremation, we aim to be another resource for you during this difficult time. If you are looking for a simple option, we offer prepaid cremation plans as well as an imminent need service (service within six months). We are dedicated to providing transparent, high-quality direct cremation services at affordable prices.

Whenever you’re ready, contact our 24/7 Family Care Team at (844) 942-4909 or arrange online.